Thursday, October 28, 2010

Two Days After

Hi guys, sorry I haven't updated the blog as quickly as I said I would.
The news isn't too good and, as you can understand, we wanted all of our family to be told in person, or at least over the phone, what happened before I blogged it.

As you all know, Dad went in for his op on Tuesday the 26th of October. The doctors were very positive about the operation and even said that it would be highly unlikely that they wouldn't be able to carry out the entire procedure. They said that there would be a small chance that the cancer would have spread, but they wouldn't really know until they opened him up. They told us that the later we heard from them, the better, and after about 2.00pm AWST we'd at least know if they could do the operation, or if the cancer had spread and it would be inoperable.

At quarter past two I mentioned to Mum that as we hadn't heard anything, things must be looking up and the operation must be going well. No more than 15 minutes later, the phone started ringing. The surgeons had opened Dad up, looked around, and found that the tumour had started associating with the main blood vessel to Dad's brain (the Carotid artery), and had pretty much wrapped itself around it. A partial dissection (where they cut away part of the tumour) wasn't possible since it would have exacerbated the already fast growth of the tumour, and would have spread it even more. They didn't bother touching Dad's thyroid, either. They closed him up after doing nothing.

This effectively means that there are no other possible curative treatment options for Dad. His illness is terminal. We have spoken to the chemotherapy doctors and they seem to think that they'll be able to give him a very low dose of chemo (once he's all healed from the incisions the surgeons made) to try and stop the growth of the cancer (which will give him more time with us). The dosage would be very low, so he won't be sick at all. Dad obviously needs some time to a) come to terms with the diagnosis and b) decide if he would like to explore the option of chemotherapy.

Dad is doing alright though. Today he was up and about. He's already gone for two walks and a shower, and it's only 12.00pm! He is being so brave.

So for now, that's really about it, and I'll definately keep you all posted.

Please, let this be a reminder to you all to spend time with your loved ones. Cherish them. Love them. TELL THEM HOW MUCH THEY MEAN TO YOU, because you won't always have them here so you can say it to their face. Yes, I know people argue. Everyone does. So argue. But don't say things you know you'll regret later, and don't go to bed angry at each other. Life is too short and precious to waste one more moment than you absolutely have to being angry at someone you love.

Please also let this remind you about how much damage cigarettes and excessive alcohol consumption can do to the human body. The original cancer 8 years ago was caused by Dads lifetime of smoking. He stopped after the first operation in 2002, but it had already caused so much damage. I know it's your own body and you can do with it what you like, but please remember that if you hurt yourself, you also hurt the people who love you and care about you.

I know I've said it in previous posts, but thank you all so much for your love and support. It means so much to us, and especially Dad. My father having cancer, both now and 8 years ago, is the most isolating and lonely experience ever. It's so hard on Mum as well, and I can't even begin to imagine how hard this is for my Dad.

Having to face not having my Dad down the track is so scary, and we're trying to enjoy and cherish every moment we spend together as a family. It sucks so much thinking that if one day I do get married, I won't have my Dad to walk me down the aisle, and when I have kids, they won't get to see for themselves how loving and funny and amazing my Dad is. Having you all sending texts, emails, whatever, makes it just that little bit less lonely and scary for us. It makes us feel like we're not completely alone. So thank you. Thank you so much.


  1. Hi Jess - I know you don't know me personally - I work with your Mum at school and I love and adore her! She tells me so much about you and sent me the link to your blog. I just wanted to let you know how truly amazing your writing is and what a great example of strength and love you are to your family (and in particular your Mum) during such a difficult time. I am so sorry to read about the operation not going well and wish you and your family all the best as you cherish this time you have together. Stay strong and give your Mum a huge hug from me. Love Bec x x x

  2. Hi Bec.
    Thank you so much. :) I've heard so many great things about you, too. Mum sends a great big hug back to you.
    Love Jess. xo

  3. Jess, all of us here in North Queensland are thinking of the three of you. There are prayer groups praying for you. Don't forget to show both your mother & father any of the poetry you have written, it says so much and does tell them both your real feelings. Just remember to keep telling each other how much you love each other. Love the three of you one hell of a lot --- Syd & Fina

  4. Hi Jess, my name is Shane Marshall and i work with your Dad. One of our team members at the dealership gave me the web address as i wanted to see if there was anything i could do to assist Barry and the family. I respect the state of mind you are maintaining and i would love if you could please let your Dad know if there is anything i can do i will be there...
    "What lies behind us and what lies before us are small matters compared to what lies within us"
    All the very best, Shane.

  5. Thank you so much Shane. I showed your message to Dad and he was so touched by your thoughts and kindness. It gave him a huge boost!

    At the moment we don't know too much as to what's going to happen down the track, but we will definitely keep you informed as to what is going on.

    Thank you so much once again,

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